Not sure what his question was, I just shrugged.  Continuing to hold my eye contact, he said, “It’s lonely.”  He proceeded to inform me as to his feelings of being abandoned by his family and friends.  He indicated that loneliness was the worst part of being in the nursing home.

Whether “abandonment” was true or not, I didn’t know, but the feelings were real.  What was also real was even when visiting with me, a stranger, those feelings vanished.

There are many people in our local nursing home, or in other shut in type living environments, who may feel the same way.  Loneliness may well be the most difficult experience of the elderly.

As you read this, know that somewhere in our community there are lonely elderly people.  Consider volunteer visitation as a service you could provide.  This can be done as an individual or as group activity.

Some tips:  Plan ahead and make arrangements.  If you wish to visit at the local nursing home call Countryvilla Riverview at 530-257-5341 and ask to speak with Shauna.  You will need to sign a confidentiality agreement.  She can hook you up with a resident.  Other facilities will require similar arrangements.

Elderly persons like to reminisce.  Just asking a question about their past could open up a lengthy conversation.  However, some folks will require a longer period of time to be comfortable.  Don’t be discouraged by their lack of participation.  Unless they are exhibiting overt signs of discomfort at your presence, just your company is often all they need.    Sometimes they just like you to read to them.

Don’t expect them to remember you.  You may be a stranger to them each time you visit.  However, repeated visits will help achieve recognition.

Expect complaints, but try to re-direct the conversation.  It doesn’t do a lot of good to dwell on the negatives of their condition or environment.

Don’t be critical of the environment, especially in nursing homes.  Staffing levels are difficult to maintain.  But in my experience the staff work hard, are very compassionate and do the best they can.

If you decide to visit, expect to experience a degree of sadness over people’s circumstances, but expect an even greater joy and rewarding experience from bringing companionship to a lonely person.